Today you would have been 16...as I got your brother ready for school this morning, I thought about what you would be like today if you were here. Would you have asked me if you could skip school because it was your birthday? Or would you have said "Let's go get my license" before school? Or would you have been excited to go to school on this day?
If I could, I would let you do all of the above. I would let you skip school and I would take you out to lunch, just you and I, like we used to do when you were little, and you wanted to stay with me when your sisters went to your dad's for the weekend.
I think back on the road trips that we would take, you were game for anything, as long as we were all together. You kept us entertained on those trips and made us laugh. You asked silly questions and always acted bigger than your age. I miss your little hand in mine, with those big brown eyes and beautiful smile. I miss when it was just your sisters and I out in this world.
As you got older we fought, but I am pretty sure that was to be expected between mothers and daughters. We disagreed, we argued, we cried and were confused about our roles. Even after raising 2 teenage girls before you, I still didn't get it right. I hope you knew that despite all of that, I loved you. I hope that even though we were at odds most of the time, that deep down you knew that I would always be there for you and have your back. I hope you always knew that I would fight for you and for what was right, even if you thought I was wrong at the time.
Thank you for the 13 years we had together. I would not trade any of it for the world. Because of you, I learned to love more and fight harder and not back down. Because of you I held on a little tighter.
I hope today that you are looking down and are proud of us. I know that you are making the angels laugh in Heaven.
Happy Birthday my Gabi Goose. I wish I could hear your laugh again and hug your face. I know you have it way better where you are and having a birthday fit for the daughter of the King. I love you more than you know....
Love, Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment